DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 
 
 
40-ish.........................................................49 
Adventurous...................................Slept with everyone 
Athletic..................................................No tits 
Average looking..............................................Ugly 
Beautiful.......................................Pathological liar 
Contagious Smile..............................Does a lot of pills 
Emotionally Secure..................................On medication 
Feminist......................................................Fat 
Free spirit................................................Junkie 
Friendship first......................................Former slut 
Fun......................................................Annoying 
New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places 
Old-fashioned..............................................No BJs 
Open-minded.............................................Desperate 
Outgoing....................................Loud and Embarrassing 
Passionate...........................................Sloppy drunk 
Professional................................................b**** 
Voluptuous...............................................Very Fat 
Large frame............................................Hugely Fat 
Wants Soul mate...........................................Stalker
 
 WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 
 
 1. Yes = No 
 2. No = Yes 
 3. Maybe = No 
 4. We need = I want.. 
 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 
 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 
 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 
 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 
 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all  you ever think  about?
 
 MEN'S ENGLISH: 
 
 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 
 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 
 3. I am tired = I am tired 
 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 
 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 
 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 
 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with  you 
 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 
 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you